A Moment of Darkness - Chapter One

Chapter One

Days like today were the worst kind of torture.

I stood at the window in the library, watching as the carriage bumped along the dirt road carrying Tristan and Carena away from me. As I watched the plume of dust kick up from behind them, a hot jealousy ripped through my core. Once a year I watched them leave the manor to head into Abberton where Tristan would meet before the Governor with other politician’s of his caliber. They would argue for changes in laws, new reforms, review old proposals, and anything else they could think of to fill time.

All while Tristan was pushing for change, Carena would be wandering the streets of the City with the other women who’s father’s and husband’s were at the Citadel. She had described the many things they did over the years, bringing me a trinket back each year. Last year she had given me a necklace shaped like a crescent moon that she found from a vendor in the City Square, one I idly played with as I watched the carriage disappear around a bend in the road.

I turned from the window, looking at the book covered room. Silence draped over me, feeling heavy and thick as I contemplated what to do for the rest of the day.

While the two of them had the freedom to go out and roam the streets of Abberton, I was left with silence and books to fill my time. Over the years, I had tried to learn other skills. Tristan was quick to fill the library with a paints when I tried to learn to pain, a piano when I tried to learn music, and even managed to find a rare guitar for when I tried that.

Yet it turned out I was horrendous at everything I put my hand to.

That is, except for reading.

But when this day rolled around, the one day I was left alone, I found nothing could fill my time.

It was why I returned to the heavy oak door each year, the one door that I only walked through on Council Day, the only reason I didn’t mind Carena and Tristan leaving me behind.

It was the only day I got a taste of freedom.

I made my way through the manor, a smile tugging at my lips, anticipation taking flight in my stomach. It didn’t take long to get to one of the many back doors of the manor. Standing before the oak door, I took a rallying breath. I checked my sleeves, making sure the long sleeves were pulled well over my wrists. I then grabbed my dark gray cloak from the hook that hung year round. It was technically Carena’s, but she never wore gray and didn’t miss its absence when I had ventured out that first year.

I pulled the hood of the cloak over my hair, covering the unmistakable white color of it. I grabbed the door knob, and before I could remind myself of the many reasons why it was a horrible idea to head outside of the manor, I pushed the door open.

A rush of sweet Spring air filled my nose as I took my first step into the outside. I propped the door open with a rock, not wanting to lock myself out. It would be too difficult to explain to Tristan why I was outside.

“You cannot go outside, Aurelia. You know this,” Tristan had said the other day when she asked to accompany him to Abberton. “You will draw too much attention to yourself.”

“But you don’t know that,” I had argued, Carena giving her an encouraging smile.

“One look at you will raise too many questions,” Tristan said, not even bothering to look up from his work.

“But we could easily explain that away,” Carena offered. “Albinism is real.”

“But she doesn’t have Albinism,” Tristan said, signing another official document with his looping signature.

“People would believe it,” I said under my breath. One look at me and everyone would stare, but they wouldn’t ask too many questions if Carena were to spread that rumor. They already told other’s I had a weak body that wouldn’t be able to make the journey from the manor to the city. No one seemed to question that.

“Besides,” Carena stated, her piercing gaze settling on Tristan. “Hostility towards the Marked are settling down.”

That got Tristan’s attention. Carena and I had both learned that if we ever wanted Tristan to pay attention to us, we just had to use the M word around him.

“You know better than to use that word,” Tristan said, his voice low. Even though his circular glasses cast a glare over his blue gaze, I knew there was panic there. “You are not coming, Aurelia, and that is final.”

I stared at the floor, my cheeks feeling warm with defeat. I had told Carena that this year would be no exception, even if Council Day fell on my birthday. Yet she had convinced me to try to talk to Tristan about attending. She filled my head with stories of the City of Light the night before our failed conversation with Tristan, telling me how glamourous the city was. She had sketched pictures of the streets and painted scenes that were full of glowing warmth. I hung many of them in my room, adding to the collection of different scenes Carena had painted for me. That night after the conversation, her and Tristan had gotten into an argument when they thought I had fallen asleep, their words floating from Tristan’s office on the curl of a shadow.

“You know better than to encourage her,” Tristan had whispered. “You know things are only getting worse for her kind.”

“Her kind?” Carena had shot back, “She is no different than you and I.”

“She is, Carena, and you would do well to remember that.” Carena remained quiet, and I could practically envision the look of hurt and shock on her face. “Don’t give me that look. You know what I mean. Aurelia is exactly like us, but she can do things that are forbidden. She has been Marked Carena. One mistake and she would be taken from us, killed in the streets like she were nothing more than a pest. Need I remind you of your mother?” I flinched at the brutality of his words, squeezing my eyes shut to block out the flood of images that threatened to take over my thoughts. “As long as she remains here, she will stay alive.”

“But she doesn’t live, Tristan,” Carena said, her voice rising above a whisper.

“She is doing far better than the other’s,” Tristan said, his tone dismissive. “As long as I live, she will remain safe and alive. She will not come to Abberton, she will not leave this manor, and that is final.”

I blinked, my thoughts surfacing to the present, my smile growing wider as pine needles crunched under my feet. If only Tristan knew…

I walked further into the pine forest, the early morning sun warming my back as I moved deeper and deeper into the forest. I took my time as I made my way towards the small creek I knew was ahead. I breathed in the deep scent of pine and sweet grass; felt the gentle caress of the wind on my cheeks; rejoiced in the song of the birds. Even though nerves coated my insides, a feeling of freedom washed over me so strong and fierce that it almost brought tears to my eyes.

By the time I made it to the creek, a gentle sheen of sweat had covered my skin. It was a beautiful feeling, and I didn’t hesitate as I pulled my cloak off, letting it crumple to the ground. I pulled my hair from its braid, letting the gentle white strands float with the wind. I bent at the edge of the creek, reaching out my hand to let my fingers dip into the ice water. I scooped a handful up, bringing it to my face, and rinsed the sweat from my cheeks.

I sat along the edge of the creek and fell silent, listening to the world around me.

Days like today were the worst kind of torture because it reminded me of what I didn’t have. What could never be mine no matter how much I longed for it.

“One day, Aurelia, I will show you the beauty of Abberton. One day they won’t be afraid of you anymore,” It was what Carena had said this morning before she left, her arms crushing me in a hug.

I don’t think she realized how much her words had hurt instead of helped. I rest my chin on my knees, watching the water of the creek as it tripped over the stones, a few fish making their lazy way through the waters. Carena had meant well, but what she had never understood was that there would never be a world where her and I could have that freedom, that luxury to walk the streets of Abberton. Not with King Fero in power, not with the world fearing my kind, not with people like Governor Eris.

I took a deep breath, closing my eyes as I called to the darkness that always clung to me. I felt the cool caress of the shadow as it drew closer, coming at my command. When I opened my eyes, shadows curled around my fingers, dancing between my knuckles as if they were happy to see me.

I clenched my hand into a fist, dispelling the shadows. Standing to my feet, I looked around the forest, making sure no one was in sight. Not that there would be. Tristan had always said he picked the manor for its privacy, and when Carena and I showed up at his doorstep, it was even a more perfect location to hide me.

There was no one around for miles.

Closing my eyes again, I pushed out with my power, forcing the darkness from me, pushing it away with each breath I took. I hated the feeling of it against my skin, the way it followed me around, how it forced me into hiding.

I could never be rid of it.

I could never hide from it.

I could never live.

When I opened my eyes, darkness hovered around a clearing I had made, darkness both physical and mental. I watched as the thick black of it hovered in the air, staring at me, waiting for me to do something.

Once a year I allowed myself to acknowledge what I could do. I came to this creek and pushed the rage, the jealousy, the fear and anger from me. I manifested my worries, my hate, my longing in one wave of shadow and sent it down the creek as if I were sending it far away to another land.

I reached a hand out, feeling the shadow immediately respond to me, longing to listen. With a wave of my hand, the shadows raced down the creek, dissipating into the bright morning sun. I felt lighter as I watched it disappear, more capable of handling the year to come.

Today I turned twenty.

Next year I would be twenty-one and I would come and do the same thing. And the year after that, I assumed I would do the same thing. I felt numb at the thought, at the overwhelming nothingness that was my life.

Was I to live each year like the last, hiding and praying no one would find me? Was I to live each day, wasting my life away in the manor? And what of Carena? Would there come a day she too would grow to fear me, to resent me for what I could do?

She wouldn’t be the last.

It was these questions that formed the bars to my cell. It was the fear and the worry that wrapped around my ankles and wrists, the manacles that kept me to the prison wall of my mind. I will waste away in the manor all because of the markings on my skin.

I closed my eyes, a tear racing down my cheek.

For Carena, Mother, Tristan.

I repeated the names over in my head, reminding myself why I was here, reminding myself of the promises I made, of the people I lost. They were the only three people I knew in the world, one of them was already dead. That left two to be my responsibility, and there was nothing that could take that from me. I stood, already feeling as if I had stayed longer than was necessary. I grabbed my cloak from the base of the tree I had left it by and wrapped it around me, pulling the hood over my hair.

I gave the creek one last look, taking in the feeling of freedom, the only one I would feel for another year. I turned from the creek, heading back the way I came.

“Hello?” A voice called out, slicing through the heavy silence that dropped over the forest floor. I froze, not moving from where I stood. By the sound of the voice, it was coming from the other side of the creek. “Is someone there?”

I rushed over to a tree, cursing myself for my lack of self control. Wasn’t this exactly why Tristan had wanted me to remain in the manor today? He didn’t want me to be seen. What if the person saw me? What if they saw the darkness? Fear spread through me, rooting me to the floor.

Silence fell yet again over the forest, and I began to think maybe the voice was just in my head.

But when I stepped out, thinking I was in the clear, a crack of a branch had me spinning in place.

A man stood just on the other side of the tree, a bow and arrow in hand. When his beady eyes rested on mine, his smile grew vicious. Ice coated my skin, my throat drying in a second.

“Well look who it is,” the man said in a gravelly voice, his fingers tightening his hold on his bow. “I stumbled upon a gold mine.”

I took a step back, not sure what to do. My hood fell from my face, the man’s eyes taking in the sight of my hair. The man whistled, slowly reaching behind him to grab an arrow from his quiver.

“I know the Marked are deadly creatures, but you sure are beautiful,” My skin crawled as the man pulled an arrow from his quiver.

I took a step back, and then another.

“Now, don’t you get any stupid ideas,” The man said, his smile faltering as shadows swirled around us in time to my hammering heart. “This arrow is tipped in molten crystal. You won’t last long once it pierces you. Just come with me and I won’t do you no harm.”

My heart dropped like a stone.

He wasn’t trying to kill me.

He was trying to take me.

The man’s eyes widened as darkness descended, covering me as I ran deeper into the forest.